What I learned from dying; What about all the good parts of having cancer?

Dave Taylor and his nephew Mitchell Smith, walking in to chemo treatment Monday

I’ve actually had a pretty good week. I walked into chemo treatment this week instead of being wheeled in as before, and a new medicine was approved for my esophageal cancer that has been shown to extend life spans exponentially.

Through all the positivity I realized that you know, no one ever talks about all the good parts of having stage 4 cancer.

No one is mean to a dying man, or at least not yet.

No matter how bad I look, someone will tell me how good I look.

I’ve worn the same two or three shirts for weeks now and no one has pointed it out, nor have they mentioned how everything looks like I borrowed my dad’s clothes that are way too big.

And the level of expectations of me now is so comically low I’ve literally been congratulated for sitting in a chair instead of in a bed. No one in my entire life that I recall had ever been impressed by me sitting before, but now it’s a feat worth accolades.

Yeah these are all silly (but true), but there are other actual positive elements to everyone assuming you’re dying. It’s like I’m getting a free funeral preview.

I’ve heard from people in the past few weeks that I hadn’t heard from in 10 years or more, and it’s been nice to catch up on each other’s lives. Without me getting cancer there’s probably no chance I would’ve heard from them any time soon, if ever.

In conversations and in messages I’ve gotten to hear things normally reserved for after someone is gone. I’ve gotten to hear the “I always considered Dave a…” and “Dave was always…” thoughts that are normally said when it’s too late.

And like a funeral, no one has seen fit to step up and say “Dave was actually sort of a piece of junk.” All that is censored when you’re dead or dying, or at least it’s said in hushed tones and not as proclamations.

My family has been saying “I love you” when we had been the kind to just show it and not say it, but we’re saying it now.

I’ve also seen such a groundswell of support from the community, my church, and so many others that it’s been very encouraging. It makes me feel like I have a fan base rooting for me, and for me not to fight as hard and as well as I can would be letting them down.

I don’t want to let anyone down. I don’t want to die like this. I don’t plan to go down easily and hopefully not for a long, long time.

By Dave Taylor

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