Funny things in life 2

By Ralph Dickerson

I have a habit of often engaging my mouth before I engage my brain, which sometimes leads to me saying funny things. I failed to engage my brain several times while working here at the Clarion.

One afternoon the phone rang and I answered it. I guess the lady on the other end of the line was having a very bad day. I have never had someone talk to me so curtly. She literally snapped my head off when I answered the phone. In the most hateful tone I have ever encountered she asked me “Can you tell me how I can get a copy of the Clarion sent to my home?”

Before I thought about what I said I blurted out, “Yeah, subscribe!”
I guess my answer caused her to become aware of her tone. I heard her take a couple of deep breaths and then ask me in a subdued tone how to go about subscribing to the paper.

Another incident happened at the McDonald’s drive-thru in Tell City. At the time I worked at Masterbrand in Ferdinand, Ind.  A coworker and I carpooled, and we alternated weeks driving. It was my week to drive, and we were working a lot of overtime. In addition, we worked the overnight shift. My coworker liked to stop at McDonald’s of the morning and order breakfast.
I pulled up to the drive-thru board and the worker asked to take the order. I told the worker I had two separate orders, and gave the orders. The worker then asked me, “Will these be on the same ticket?” Again, my mouth got ahead of my brain. I answered back, “No, that is what separate means.” Let’s just say the worker did not appreciate my answer and loudly let me know of her displeasure.

The last incident happened over 30 years ago. While sitting in church one Sunday morning, I suffered what doctors call a “transient neurological event,” which is a fancy way of saying I suffered a seizure for no apparent reason. The doctors scheduled me to undergo a neurological test on my brain in an effort to determine a cause.  The day of my test happened to be a Wednesday, and several members of the congregation knew I was to undergo the test that day.  As I arrived at church that night, a member asked me, “How did the brain test go?” Before I thought about what I said I blurted out, “They didn’t find a thing!”