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What I Learned From Dying: I’m dying

Dave Taylor during recent treatment in his ongoing battle against cancer.

I’m dying.

I’ve known that for months but I just had a consult with a surgeon who was a straight shooter and his whole message was that I’m dying and very soon.

In fact, one of the first things he said was “you’re in serious trouble.”

This was the cancer specialist who was a well respected veteran doctor who we were looking to for input about the healing of my collapsed lung.

He made it very clear that there’s nothing that’s going to magically cure me and that I’m most definitely dying very soon.

He talked a lot about how I’m at the end of my life and I need to decide what I want to do with the days I have left, however many of those there might be.

I’m not sure what I think about this. He told me that if I’m ready to be done I should contact Hospice, but I’m absolutely not ready for this life to be over.

I can see in the mirror how I’m wasting away, but I feel like I should have more time left. How can I go from working out and feeling great less than a year ago to now being in my last days? Is cancer that powerful?

Lying here in this uncomfortable hospital bed, the message from the surgeon echoes in my head a little bit, but it also gives me a little bit of stress.

Is he right? Should I be preparing even more to no longer be here? Do I need to hurry up and sell some of the things I’ve been procrastinating on so my fiancee Jamie isn’t left with that hassle? I’ve made my will and other end-of-life things, but there’s a lot more to do. I still haven’t written my obituary.

I thought I had more time.

I have been blessed to have been given a several months long heads up about my impending departure. Many people die in a heartbeat or behind the wheel of a car and there’s no allowance for a goodbye. I’ve gotten that time to say goodbye and to reconnect with people in my life. I’m eternally grateful for that.

But I’m not ready to go.

I’m not ready to be a memory or a story from times past.

I still have more memories to make, more places to go, more people to hang out with. Maybe it won’t be easy to do those things, but I really feel like I have some more time to do some of that.

I just need to get out of this hospital bed so I can get home and get back to living.


  1. Norma on February 2, 2022 at 2:56 pm

    I’ve been praying for you. But my most important you know Jesus Christ as your personal savior. Not do you know him or about him..but do you truly know HIM. Have you accepted HIM into your heart. If so…you are ready. Because that is the only thing that matters.

  2. Carla G Early on February 2, 2022 at 3:44 pm

    Dave, u r such an inspiration to everyone!!! We r all praying it is GOD’S will to heal u!!! U have touched so many lives!!!

  3. Connie Duncan on February 2, 2022 at 4:27 pm

    Dave, you have been such a great Christian witness and a HERO to many people. I hope and pray you get out of that hospital bed and make new memories. Love you Dave Taylor

  4. Kelly Vanover on February 3, 2022 at 11:50 am

    Prayers continued for you Dave.
    May God bless you and extend your time here on earth. Bless you your family and Jamie.🙏

  5. Connie Eaton on February 3, 2022 at 5:05 pm

    I pray that you cling to Christ in this transition. If you do you will find so much to look forward to. Heaven must be Awesome but unknown in this life so I am sure unnerving. We never want to leave what we know. Prayers

  6. Carmel McLeod on February 3, 2022 at 8:04 pm

    It’s not fair.

  7. Jeff Smith on February 4, 2022 at 1:19 pm

    Dave, Some people may not appreciate this, but to quote my Dad,”If you want a sparkling obituary, you’d better darn well write it yourself!”
    He died of Parkinsons, but he claimed he only had 23 of the 25 symptoms!
    I Loved my Dad, and it just wasn’t fair, that he had to get that desease! He was a Forester when he was young, and up into his late 70’s was backpacking on Mt. Hood in Oregon. Why couldn’t some couch potato get it instead of him?
    Life isn’t always fair, but he knew where he was going to spend eternity, so he never complained about it.
    I’m glad your Doctor is honest with you, but so sorry your egg timer is about done.
    Love you brother, catch you on the flip-flop!

  8. Amy Conway on February 5, 2022 at 12:49 pm

    You are in my thoughts and prayers. Enjoy the beautiful moments of every day, even if it’s just catching a sunrise or a sunset.

  9. Belinda High on February 6, 2022 at 3:57 pm

    God bless your outlook on your situation. May you find comfort and enjoy ALL your days.

  10. Retha Keown on March 19, 2022 at 1:07 pm

    Dear Dave you don’t know me! I just wanted to leave you a note to say I’m praying for you’ everyday for God To let you enjoy your day to day life! Go enjoy let God take care of it. Sounds pretty much like that’s what you are doing! God bless take care

  11. Roger Watkins on April 3, 2022 at 7:44 am

    Dave,I am dying too,but I am seventy one and i have been around. I just hate to see children and young people go through this.

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